The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize