It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
