Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Randomize
