I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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