Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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