Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
