1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I think a kid would responsible me up
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Randomize
