ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
