You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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