We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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