I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
