we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
