i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
