Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize