so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I AM VODKA MAN
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
