We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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