Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
