Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I am mentally ready for anal.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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