is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
and she was petting her beer can
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize