You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
should my penis look like a turkey
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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