Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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