My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
