how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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