I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
