i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
The Olympian is in my bed
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
