All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
