The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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