on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
