ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
