Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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