I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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