I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
