shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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