Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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