the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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