you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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