you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
