can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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