sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Randomize
