GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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