Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
