Are we in a gay sports bar?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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