The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize