Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
