He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
