Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
