last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
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