Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I want to walk on stilts...naked
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Randomize
