I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
