Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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