Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
