Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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