This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I met the friendliest cop last night
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
