I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
How does one acquire holy water?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize