just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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