Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
