All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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