Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
