whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
