In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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