You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
