what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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