I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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